Talking about the tough stuff in life

If you look at Facebook and Social Media in general, it’s hard to deny that the vast majority of the content shared is content about the good stuff in life. Occasionally there is an update about a loss, a personal tragedy, a moment of pain or despair – but the bulk of it is about achievements, accomplishments, aspirations or affirmations. 

I recently came across this piece on HBR about writing a resume of failures – and I liked it a lot. I liked it because it encourages a conversation about the tough things in life. And truth be told, my resume of failures would shockingly exceed the length of my resume of accomplishments. From the internships I didn’t get to the promotions I didn’t qualify for. From the scholarships I got rejected from to the opportunities I missed.

So how come we never talk about these things? Embellishment is the name of the game and as we focus on only showing our bright side, we create these images of being infallible human beings. That success is our daily breed, and that we are too perfect to suffer. 

But that is not true. We are not perfect. None of us is. We are just not always showing the hardship, we just don’t always talk about our fears, we just never really address those insecurities that influence our thinking and acting – day after day after day. 

So when my friend Kudzi asked me to talk about one of my big fears in life, on video, for a new YouTube series called “even the great ones,” I felt uncomfortable. But I also felt obliged to do it. Behind the many followers on Social Media, behind the brands and degrees, behind the polished image of a successful person that my public posts tend to convey, there is a real human being with fears and insecurities just like anyone else. 

So when I was asked about one of my biggest fears, I talked about my fear of rejection. This constant fear that I would not be accepted for who I am and that I would have to change to fit in. And as a consequence,  that I would end up living a life that is not one in which I do what I really want to do, but one that helps me be accepted. 

With no further ado, here the clip that appeared on The Snatched Show on YouTube.

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